Restoration of Love Read online

  Luther Miller was one of the head Deacons at their church and had to be every bit of seventy years old. His wife had died some years earlier and, like Brandon said, he had taken a special liking to Nikki. She had always graciously refused his invitations, but he just never gave up asking. At least Brandon knew his mother wasn’t sitting home alone, and if her son felt better thinking that she was seeing Mr. Miller, what harm could it do? She figured that she would let him get used to the idea that she was dating, and then she would tell him it wasn’t the Deacon.

  “Nikki.” Carlos’s voice brought her back to the present. “Does your son know about me or not?”

  “No, not exactly.”

  “Not exactly? What the hell does ‘not exactly’ mean?”

  “ First of all,” Nikki said looking him directly in the eyes, “Do not ever speak to me in that tone again. It means that I haven’t told him yet. I didn’t want to tell him over the phone and I’m not sure that springing this on him the first time he’s home from school is a good idea either.”

  “Springing this on him? You act like what we’re doing is illegal. Nikki, he’s not a baby anymore. He’s a grown man. And I would be willing to bet that he is glad that his mother has found someone who makes her happy and that she is not sitting around counting the days until he comes back home. So, I guess the idea of your coming to my mother’s is out of the question, too?” When Nikki said nothing, Carlos walked back into the living room and grabbed his jacket off the couch.

  “Where are you going?” Nikki said following him.

  “ I have to go. You know what?” Carlos said, turning around to face Nikki. “You joke around with me, call me your ‘man/boy’ and as much as it hurts me every time you say that, I don’t say a word. But, you above anyone else should know that I am a man. You are so worried about what everyone else is going to think and say, but at the same time, you keep telling me how you are your own woman. You think that I don’t notice when we go out that you still feel insecure with me and that you self-consciously check out everybody just to see if they’re staring at us. Let me tell you something, baby. People are so busy living their own lives that they could give a rat’s ass about us. Nikki, I have tried every way imaginable to prove to you that this isn’t just some passing fling with me, but you know what, girl? I’m getting tired, very tired. You’re the one with issues, Nik, not me.”

  With that Carlos walked to the front door and slammed it as he stormed out. Nikki, surprised at Carlos’s sudden outburst, wondered how long he had been holding all that in. Of course she wanted the two most important men in her life to meet. But, Carlos didn’t understand. Her relationship with her son was valuable and precious to her. She was certain that he would be happy that she found someone, but would he be happy that that person was barely a decade older than him? Carlos had to back off and give her time. He was mistaken to think that she was ashamed of their relationship. But, he was correct when he said that she wondered what people were thinking about them, especially about her, when they were together. And, yes, she did feel sometimes that people were staring, wondering what that old woman was doing with that young boy. If there were young women around, she always wondered if they were making a play for Carlos. She had been so caught up in the way she felt that she never stopped to think how she made Carlos feel. But, ashamed of their relationship? No, she wasn’t ashamed. Or was she?

  CHAPTER EIGHTEEN

  It had been a couple of days now since Nikki and Carlos argued and she had not heard from him. She told herself that she would give him time to rethink some of the things he said since she knew that most of it was out of frustration. But, after a few more days went by, she found herself missing him more than she thought possible. She missed his daily calls at work to see how her day was going and talking to him before she went to sleep at night if he wasn’t with her. Tia’s words came back to haunt her, “Nikki, have you gone and fallen for that boy?” At that moment she realized that she would have to stop referring to him as a boy. He had proven to her that he was anything but a boy, and not just in bed. She also knew that she had to call him and admit her true feelings for him. Tonight.

  Nervously, Nikki picked up the phone to dial Carlos’s number. What if he refused to answer her call? She had never seen him so angry. To her relief, he answered on the third ring. “Hello,” he said, sounding out of breath.

  Nikki took a deep breath before speaking. “Before you say anything, I am so sorry and I hope you can forgive me. I’ve been thinking about everything you said and you are right. I am self-conscious about what others are thinking when we’re out together. But, that’s my issue and I’ll have to deal with it. But, what I can’t deal with is the fact that you and I are not speaking. Carlos, I know that I am not the easiest person to get along with and there are some things from my marriage that I have allowed to seep into our relationship. And baby, yes, yes, I am scared about how you are going to feel about me six months or even two months from now. I’m scared about what’s going to happen with us. But, nothing scares me more than the thought of losing you.” Nikki hesitated before she continued, but decided at this point that she might as well go for broke. “Carlos Ruiz, I think that I’m falling in love with you. With all my craziness and my insecurities, you have found a way to break down a wall that I have had up for a very long time and yes, I am scared as hell.” There. She finally said it.

  It seemed like an eternity before Carlos responded. “You know,” he started slowly, “Since that first night that we made love and I watched you lying there sleeping next to me, I have wondered to myself, ‘how am I going to tell this beautiful angel that I loved her? How will I tell her that and not scare her away?’ Baby, I do love you so much. That’s why I get so crazy when I think that you are about to throw away something so precious. Nikki, real love isn’t something that you find every day. Yes, we’ve got problems and issues to work out, but don’t throw it all away without even giving it a fighting chance. See baby, I need to know that you are with me here, that you’ve got my back. I need to know that I am not in this alone. So… am I in this alone?

  “No, Carlos, you are not in this alone,” Nikki said, speaking through tears.

  “And you’re not going to wimp out on me at the drop of a hat?”

  “No, I swear. I’ll stand by you no matter what.”

  “Now that’s what’s up.”

  CHAPTER NINETEEN

  Nikki sat anxiously in the waiting area at George Bush airport. It was two days before Thanksgiving and Brandon was finally coming home. Nikki had spoken to him the day before and told him that she had some news. She thought that if she went that far, there would be no backing out. She would have to tell him about Carlos. She promised Carlos that not only would she tell Brandon about him, but also that she would at least go over to his house and meet his family. However, she did tell him that she thought it would be better to wait until Christmas before introducing him to her family. For some reason, she hoped that the spirit of the Christmas holiday would put her mother in a better mood. Carlos agreed to the compromise.

  Lost in her thoughts, she was suddenly aware that the passengers were emerging from the terminal area. Brandon appeared from the crowd and saw her immediately. He ran up to her, scooped her up and swung her around.

  “Hey, Mom,” he said happily with that award winning smile of his.

  “Hey yourself, stranger. Look at you. You’ve put on some weight.”

  “I have. Between late night studying while binging on pizza and Tracy’s cooking, I’ve put on about ten pounds.” As soon as he mentioned his father’s wife, Brandon saw Nikki’s expression change and he wished ha hadn’t said that. “I’m sorry, Mom, I wasn’t thinking. I didn’t mean to upset you.”

  “It’s okay. I’m glad you have someone there to take care of you since I can’t be. And how are your father and Tracy?”

  “They’re good. He said to say hello to you, so hello.”

  “Very funny, you,” Nikki said sm
iling at her son. “Let’s go before the freeway backs up.”

  On the car ride home, Brandon did most of the talking, telling Nikki about the friends ha had made at school and all of his activities. Nikki couldn’t help but notice how much he was like Trent. He had even picked up some of his mannerisms after being around him only a few short months. As she listened, she realized that her thoughts were only partly on what Brandon was saying. Her mind was also on Thanksgiving, only a few short days away, and how she was going to tell her son about Carlos. Not only that she had found someone, but more importantly, that he was much younger and of a different race.

  By the time Nikki pulled into the driveway, she decided that she could not prolong what she had to do any longer. Brandon brought his suitcase into the house, carried it into his room and came back to the living room where Nikki had stopped to listen to her messages. Carlos’s voice came over the answering machine, “Hey Nikki, baby, it’s me. I was just calling you to tell you that I am going to hang out with a few of the guys after class tonight. Give me a call. Love you.” She looked up just in time to see the utter surprise on Brandon’s face.

  “So this is the love you wanted to talk to me about?” Brandon said, never taking his eyes off of her.

  “Yes. Brandon please come sit down.” Brandon walked over to the couch and sat beside his mother. Nikki took a deep breath, searching for the right words. She knew that it was crucial to her relationship with her son that each word be carefully chosen.

  She began, “Brandon, when you left I thought I was ready, but I wasn’t. I cried for two days straight. For so long, I had made my life your life and your life mine. But, baby, as much as I love you…and you know that I love you, Brandon… it was a mistake for me not to create a life for myself outside of taking care of you. I felt that I had no purpose once you were gone. Then one day, a few weeks after you left, I met a wonderful man. A man who made me feel as though I had come out of hibernation. He made me smile and then he made me laugh. He has been a big part of why I have been so happy these last few months. I’m sorry that you found out about him through the answering machine, but yes, he is what I wanted to talk to you about. Brandon, I have fallen in love.”

  Nikki waited a minute to see what her son’s reaction would be before she continued. When he said nothing she went on, “Brandon, there is something else. He is quite a bit younger than I am.”

  “Quite a bit? Mom, how much is quite a bit? God, don’t tell me you’re dating someone from my high school.”

  “No Brandon, you know better than that. He’s twenty-nine, but there’s more.”

  “More?”

  “Yes, he’s Puerto Rican.”

  Nikki decided to stop there and let all that she had told Brandon sink in. She half expected him to storm off to his room, collect his things, and say that he was going back to Atlanta because his mother had lost her mind.

  Brandon took Nikki’s hands in his. “Mom, for as long as I can remember, you’ve been there for me. Sometimes too much there for me. I could not have asked for a better mother. When Dad left, instead of going out partying like some guys’ mothers I know did, you stayed home with me. You even stayed home after I started going out and left you alone. I would come back home and you would be right here waiting for me. Sometimes you would fall asleep on the couch waiting and I’d look at you and think how glad I was that you were my mother.

  Smiling at her, Brandon continued, “ I may not have always wanted to listen to you and do what you wanted, but I always respected your decisions as my mother even if I didn’t agree with them. When I was right about something, you admitted it and when I was wrong you told me that, also. Now it’s my turn to tell you.

  Nikki looked down for what was about to come. She knew it had been a mistake to put all this on Brandon on his first trip home.

  “Mom, I respected your decisions then and I respect them now. If that guy, whoever he is, makes your eyes light up like that when you talk about him, then he must be really special to you. For so long, you’ve placed your own needs on hold to make sure that mine were taken care of. It’s your turn now. I’m a man. It’s time for me to start looking out for myself.”

  Nikki threw her arms around her son who seemed so wise beyond his years. When did he get so grown up?

  Brandon laughed, “Wait a minute now. I want to meet this dude. Got to check him out to make sure he’s good enough to be spending time with my momma, cause if he’s not, he’ll have to face the wrath of the Big B.”

  “Well, he did invite us over to his parents’ house for Thanksgiving dinner,” she told him, since he seemed to be taking all of this so well.

  “Oh Mom, I’m sorry. I wish I had known that earlier. I kind of promised Jinelle that after we had dinner at Grandma’s, I’d go over to her house and spend some time with her.”

  “That’s okay, honey. I understand. How about tomorrow night? I can fix dinner right here. That will give you guys a chance to talk and get acquainted.”

  “That’s cool, Mom. I’m kind of tired from the flight, so I think I’m going to take a nap and then run over to Jinelle’s.”

  “Fine, baby.”

  Nikki just sat by herself for a while, hugging a stuffed pillow, thinking about how happy she was that Brandon was home. Silently, she thanked God for his help in raising such a fine young man.

  CHAPTER TWENTY

  That evening, as Nikki prepared dinner, she found herself humming contentedly. All was right with her world. Brandon went over to see his grandmother, but promised to be back in plenty of time to shower and dress for dinner. She talked to Carlos several times throughout the day and he seemed really excited about meeting Brandon. For dinner, she was preparing a main menu of lasagna, Brandon’s favorite and beef enchiladas, Carlos’s favorite. Shortly after she and Carlos became ‘a couple’, she taught herself how to prepare his favorite meals. Carlos always praised her cooking, sometimes even saying it was as good as his mother’s. Nikki considered that to be the best compliment he could give her.

  Carlos arrived at 7:00, right on time. Nikki had just taken the last of the enchiladas out of the oven when the doorbell rang.

  “Hey baby,” she greeted him at the door.

  “Hey sweetie, how’s my girl?”

  “I’m good.”

  “I know that,” he said mischievously, “But how are you doing? What smells so good in here?” As he walked in the kitchen, he reached for the hot enchiladas. “Not yet,” she said playfully slapping his hand. She handed him a tray of chips and dip. “Now take this into the living room and watch a game or something. Brandon should be here any minute.”

  Nikki went to the china cabinet and took out her best flatware and dishes, the ones she saved for special occasions…and tonight was a very special occasion. As she walked back toward the kitchen she could hear her car pull into the garage. Nikki listened, as she thought she heard someone’s voice other than Brandon’s. Surely, he had known that this was a family dinner and had not stopped to pick up Jinelle on the way home. Then the door from the garage opened and she froze. It was her mother.

  “Hello, Nikki. My handsome grandson, of whom I am so proud, told his grandmother that you were preparing a special dinner of some sort. Since I wasn’t doing anything tonight, I invited myself over. I hope you don't mind.”

  Nikki looked at Brandon standing behind his grandmother with a helpless look on his face. Nikki knew her mother well enough to know that she had gotten information out of Brandon that he hadn’t meant to tell. She was good at that. She grabbed you on her hook and then reeled you in. Brandon had probably let it slip that Nikki was preparing dinner for a special friend and she came along out of sheer nosiness.

  “Of course, Mom, you’re more than welcome,” Nikki lied, feeling even more nervous now.

  “Good,” her mother said, walking into the living room. She stopped when she saw Carlos sitting on the couch. “Oh, and pray tell, who are you?” Brandon, not sure of what to do at this point, follow
ed his mother into the living room and stood beside her waiting for an introduction. Nikki looked at Carlos who seemed rightfully confused. Nikki had told Carlos that this would be a dinner just for him, Brandon, and her.

  “Carlos,” Nikki said, ignoring her mother for the moment, “This is my son, Brandon, whom you know I talk about incessantly.” When Nikki’s mother audibly cleared her throat, Nikki looked at her and said, “And this is my mother, Mrs. Alma Williams.”

  Carlos stood up and reached for Brandon’s hand. “Hey, man, it’s nice to meet you, and she’s right, she does talk about you all the time.”

  “Good to meet you.” Brandon said politely.

  Carlos let go of Brandon’s hand and faced Nikki’s mother with his hand out. “And Mrs. Williams, it’s nice to meet you as well. You are as lovely as your beautiful daughter.” Alma said nothing and only stared at Carlos.

  Breaking the silence, Nikki said, “Well, why don’t you all have a seat at the table. Dinner will be ready in a few short minutes. Brandon, why don’t you come help me in the kitchen?”

  “Sure, Mom,” he said, bracing for the tongue lashing that he knew was coming.

  As soon as they were out of earshot of their guests, Nikki said, “Brandon, how could you? You knew tonight was supposed to be a special dinner with just the three of us.”

  “I’m sorry, Mom. I told grandma you were home fixing dinner for someone you wanted me to meet and she started asking questions and, before I knew it, she was getting in the car with me. You know how she is.”